It’s been about three weeks since I last posted here, so I’m well overdue something! I figured that seeing as tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, a round up of the year might be a good idea.
Most of the year has been taken up with diagnosis, treatment and even before that with wondering what was ‘wrong’ – I first remember complaining about joint pain in about February (though I’m still not entirely sure what is connected and what’s not, but I think that must be!) People who have been following this blog will know the general trajectory of what’s happened this year. I’m not going to go into it in more detail because the information is mostly out there!
Assuming the next couple of days go as planned, I’ll see in 2018. Considering that at one point, I didn’t think I’d make it to my birthday, let alone Christmas and New Year, this feels like a miraculous accomplishment. I know that time is a human construct and all that, and the fact we celebrate a new year at midnight on the 1st January is probably mostly arbitrary, but that doesn’t stop it being meaningful.
For Christmas, I got tickets to Wicked and Matilda, so hopefully I’ll get to see both of those in 2018 (I believe they’re in April and August respectively, but I haven’t actually written the dates down yet!)
(Apologies to anyone who saw the first and unfinished draft of this post – my kitten published it by stepping on my phone!)
I’ve also got to see a few films, including the Last Jedi. I know a lot of people don’t care but for me this was a top priority so having now seen it twice is fantastic. Being ill has meant that I can’t do so much that I used to take for granted, and I probably never will be able to do some of those things again – things like spontaneously going for walks, even going upstairs unaided. There’s big things too, but the lack of independence is a major thing that I’ve had to get used to.
On the bright side though, in 2017 I discovered I’m getting published in the Journal of Medieval Monastic Studies, I saw Belle and Sebastian again, I got to go to Italy for the first time, I became a godmother and I got to go to one of my best friend’s wedding. And Arya, my kitten/porg, came into our lives! Obviously I would rather much of this year hadn’t happened but it hasn’t been entirely bad and the moments of good in there mean all the more for it mostly having not been a good year. I would say that I hope 2018 is better, but as I’ve said that almost every year for at least the last three, I think I’ve given up on that!
Some resolutions, then. I think if I say them publicly I’ll hold myself accountable more.
1) Enjoy what you can. Everything is different now and many of the things I used to take pleasure in I can’t, but there’s still some good around.
2) Try not to argue with random strangers on the internet. It’s very rarely worth it.
3) As I probably won’t be able to make it to conferences and things, take full advantage of academic twitter and conference reports to keep up with what’s going on. (And relatedly, try not to get too sad about missing out!)
4) Attempt to get a vaguely sensible sleeping pattern
5) Attempt to do physio exercises.
6) Try and reply to messages instead of getting overwhelmed by them – but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t reply or even if you just don’t want to.
I’m not sure I can think of anything else at the moment but those are enough to be getting on with!
I hope you all had lovely Christmases, however you celebrate, and that you can look back on a happier 2017 than me, and forwards to a great 2018.